How to Win the Dawn War

In my quest to become the Worst OSR Writer, I have decided to run a game of Dungeons and Dragons Fourth Edition. 4e was released in 2008. That's 16 years ago! Clearly it has passed into the realm of "Old School" gaming, and is due for a Renaissance. 4e presents a good ludonarrative resonance, I believe, for a specific type of game. It does very badly at simulating medieval fantasy life, but does a great job of simulating cartoons about simulations of medieval fantasy life; that is to say, I hypothesize it does a great job with Isekai anime.

I always liked the 4e gods ("The Dawn War Pantheon"), even if I did not, in my youth, enjoy 4e, as I said in my previous post, which I shall now entirely disregard. However, I noticed that there is an issue when constructing a 4e Isekai game: Your main churchy gods of good, Bahamut and Pelor, are gods. The JRPG standard dictates that your benevolent good guy church must worship a goddess, or several. So a gender-swap is needed (and fits perfectly to patterns exemplified in, for instance, the Fate series). This set off a cascade of thoughts that might make the Dawn War Pantheon more interestingly boring (boringly interesting?).

The Pelor you wanted

In honor of 4e, I've sectioned this post into Lore DCs, a much beloved 4e staple. If you are going to play in my 4e game, read DC 10 and DC 15 only, the rest is spoilers. Content Warning for Divine-Typical freakiness.

The Pelor you got

DC 10

There are ten gods that rule the world:

Pelora, goddess of the Sun; Bahamat, goddess of Justice; Avandros, god of Luck; Moradi, goddess of the Forge; Erathus, god of Law; Ioun, god of Knowledge; Kord, goddess of Strength; Melor, god of Nature; Sehanine, goddess of the Moon; and the Raven Prince, god of Death.

There are seven lords that rule hell:

Ashmadeva, goddess of Evil; Lolth, goddess of Darkness; Vecna, goddess of Secrets; Bane, goddess of Conquest; Torog, goddess of Torture; Zehira, goddess of Poisons; and Tiamut, god of Greed.

The seventeen gods fought in a war at the dawn of time against the primordials, beings of elemental chaos that would have destroyed the world. They won, and now the world exists, and the gods fight within it for the spirits of mortals. Each race has its own god, who made it. Moradi made the dwarves, Sehanine made the eladrin, Avandros made the fauns, Bahamat made the dragonborn, and Ashmadeva made the cursed Tieflings. No one knows who made humanity. Most people think it was probably Erathus, or Pelora, or Melor, or the Raven Prince.

Whatever the case, pretty well everyone except the dwarves and the dragonborn mixed up together and that where you get halflings and half-elves and elves (though, "true" elves are born from the mixing of Eladrin and Fauns specifically)

There are a few other things, like how the orcs have no god, and only worship their warlord, but that covers most of everything.

DC 15

There are eleven gods that rule the world:

Pelora, goddess of the Sun, Life, and Family. She is the mother of men and angels, the god of six heavens, and by far the most popular god in creation. She is worshiped by the Church of the Sun, which teaches good old fashioned values, like love, honesty, and the ruthless eradication of the undead, demons, and devils. She is a little picky that you worship her only, but she is still friendly with the other gods. If you do well in her service, she will bring you to one of the heavens, where you will enjoy countless delights. There are many demigods of Pelora, and many saints and angels in her service. She also has avatars abroad in many forms, as men and women of all ages. You may recognize them by their golden hair, golden eyes, and unearthly beauty.

Bahamat, goddess of Justice, Nobility, and Dragons. She is the mother of dragons and the dragonborn, the god of the seventh heaven, the platinum dragon. She is worshiped by the Adamantine Order, the greatest order of knights and paladins in the world. Bahamat encourages strict discipline and paragon goodness. She is the greatest enemy of evil and chaos. She lives in the Amethyst Citadel in the northernmost parts of the world. She is served by the good dragons, the dragons of gold, silver, copper, iron, tin, mercury, and lead. They say there is a secret to becoming a dragonborn, known only to the Adamantine Order.

Avandros, god of Luck, Travel, and Pleasure. He is the father of fauns and elves, king of the fairies, and the patron of adventurers. Of all the gods who are, according to popular canon, good, Avandros is the most fickle. He is married (for a certain, non-exclusive definition of married) to Sehanine. Avandros possesses no divine domain of his own, sharing Sehanine's. Most inns (and brothels) are temples of Avandros, started by great adventurers who decided to settle down. Avandros is more often served by warlocks than by clerics, and is, of course, one of the two original granters of the Fey Pact. He travels the world in many guises. Fauns and Satyrs are his demigods, mostly male, and he sired almost all of them himself.

Moradi, goddess of the Forge, Craft, and Loyalty. She is the mother of dwarves. This, contrary to popular belief, is not a literal statement. There are female dwarves besides Moradi, and they are very important, the matriarchs of the mines, but they are both hidden from outsiders and look very similar to male dwarves. Moradi was instrumental in laying the literal foundations of the world, using sheer strength and skill to form bedrock from primordial chaos. Despite this, she's mainly worshiped only by dwarves, and really doesn't mind. Dwarves are her perfect creation, the completed form of the prototype known as ants. Moradin invented many things, from swords to weaving, but she is very selfless, and gave most of her inventions to other gods. 

[Digression]

Mechanically, Eladrin and Fauns are identical, except Fauns get a bonus to Dex and must choose between Charisma and Intelligence, and get a +2 to Nature and Bluff. Demigods of Pelora are mechanically just humans

[/Digression]

These are the gods that are known to all as the gods of Good. There are seven gods that remain neutral:

Erathus, god of Law, Civilization, and Technology. He is father of men. His divine domain is Erathus, the One City. To all knowledge, he has only one demigod, Erathus Rex, god-king of Erathus. Unlike most demigods, he is apparently immortal. I don't need to type all this up, just imagine Solomon David from Kill Six Billion Demons. That's exactly what both Erathus and Erathus Rex look and act like. Erathus built the Inevitables to act as their servants.

Ioun, god of Knowledge, Prophecy, and the Stars. They are the god of wizards, and the wizard of gods. Before Ioun came, there were no wizards, only clerics and warlocks, but Ioun taught the secrets of arcane magic to men. Ioun was not originally a god. They were, originally, a star, but they fell to earth. Ioun has no demigods, and has only one avatar, in which they appear as a robed and shadowy mage with a strange inner light. Their domain is the Tower of Art, surrounded by the Academy of Stars, of which they are the often absent headmaster.

Melor, god of Nature, the Ocean, and Animals. He is the father of monsters and spirits, and made Lakal, the World Tree. His domain is pretty much everywhere that doesn't have another god squatting on it. Melor has two avatars: Behemoth and Leviathan. Almost nobody worships Melor, unless they want an earthquake or tsunami or something. Druids and other primal types worship his children, the Primal Spirits. These aren't demigods, they are godlings, the children of Melor and the World Tree. His demigods, which he does not hesitate to sire, are the monsters that plague men. It is his job to protect nature, which often means crushing humans.

Kord, goddess of Strength, Courage, and Storms. She is the mother of Barbarians. Melor used to have three avatars, until Kord killed Anzu, the thunderbird, and ate it.

Sehanine, goddess of the Moon, Illusions, and Love. She is the mother of Eladrin and Elves, queen of the fairies. Sehanine's domain is the Lambent Forest, also called the Forest of the Moon or Fairyland, a dark forest dotted with glowing crystals. It is the home of the Eladrin, her demigods, mostly female, along with the fauns and the fairies. Within this forest is Melliora, the City of the Elves. While eladrin and fauns are the demigods of Sehanine and Avandros respectively, and elves are the children of those two races, fairies are the children of Sehanine and Avandros with one another, godlings in their own right, and numerous. In the Lambent Forest, these creatures mix, and lines become very blurred.

The Raven Prince, god of Death and Winter. He has no children. He appears as a young, handsome man to those who are dying, and they offer him a last prayer. Only few gods are known to have the power to take the spirit after death: Pelor and Bahamat might take the spirit to be reincarnated in their heavens, while Ashmadeva might claim them for hell, and Ioun might request them for study. However, these are only temporary, and everyone goes to the Raven Prince in the end.

Gruumsh the one-eyed is the warlord of the orcs and goblins. She is, or was, also the goddess of slaughter, one of the gods of hell. The story goes like this:

"Gruumsh was never a genial goddess, and once insulted Avandros during the Dawn War. Avandros took his bow and put out her eye. To spite him, Gruumsh took some elves and fauns and tortured them, corrupting them into her perfect warriors. Thus began the wars of elves and orcs. Gruumsh was so enamored with her "creations" that she devoted all her focus to them. They were very simple: they wanted war, and bloodlust, and victory. Humans were much more complicated, and had scruples about hearing lamentations of women and such."
"Before she knew it, she was so surrounded with idiot worshipers that she became an idiot herself. Her avatars and their warbands began to fight each other for fun, and now she is so weak that she is barely a goddess, possessing one avatar, the immortal warlord of the orcs. When she gets enough power, she immediately makes another avatar to spread more war, but her avatars just end up fighting again. An embarrassment to hell, they exiled her to the Fields of Blood on the mortal world."

There are seven lords that rule hell:

Ashmadeva, goddess of Evil and Tyranny, the Commander of Hell. She is the mother of tieflings and devils, and rules the lowest and worst part of hell. She (or rather, her emissaries) makes deals with mortals, conscripting their souls for hell's army in exchange for power.

Lolth, goddess of Darkness and Spiders, the Governor of Hell. She is the mother of the drow and the driders, and rules the borders of hell and the underdark. The drow pay their tithes to hell in food, blood, gold, and captives.

Vecna, goddess of Secrets and Necromancy, the Scholar of Hell. She is the spiritual mother of liches, and rules the Necropolis of Knowledge. As everyone knows, her greatest servants are her hand and her eye.

Bane, goddess of Conquest and Strategy, the Captain of Hell. She rules the Slaughter Grounds. She was once a mortal student of Gruumsh before the warlord fell from grace, so to speak, but she has now surpassed her master in every way. Some warlords of the mortal world pay tribute to her.

Torog, goddess of Torture and Biomancy, the Sergent of Hell. She rules the Hell of Hooks and Nails, where she experiments on mortal spirits. She is the god of hell most likely to kidnap the living, and it is held that merely saying her name will draw her to you.

Zehira, goddess of Poison and Conspiracy, the Spymaster of Hell. She rules the Lake of Sulphur from atop her tower, and her children are the Yuan-ti.

Tiamut, god of Greed and Dragons, the Treasurer of Hell. He is the father of dragons, who took form when his seed spilled upon the elemental chaos. Bahamat is his child, but she and her children rebelled and redeemed herself from her birth.

[Digression]

Heaven and Hell and the other divine realms are, for the most part, physical locations in the world that you can totally get to. The seven heavens are 7 cloud palace paradises*. Hell is below the underdark.

*Actually, one of them is the Sun. Relatedly, the Lambent Forest is technically on the Moon, despite the fact that you can walk right into it.

[/Digression]

But there is one more god, neither of the earth nor of hell: Tharizdun, the traitor god, the elder eye, the father and mother of demons, the chained one. He was imprisoned in the elemental chaos for a crime committed in the Dawn War, and longs to be free to destroy the world. His progeny afflict the world, and even the devils fight against them.

Spoilers past this point

DC 20

The Dawn War never ended. How could it? The Elemental Chaos is simply too vast, at least three times the size of the world, if not infinite. If you go to the edge of the earth and look over, it is just seething entropy further than the horizon. The gods are still fighting. Perhaps not desperately, for chaos acts against itself as often as it attacks the world, but they are not at peace.

The Pelor you got :(

Pelora has not had so many demigods without reason. I mean, she is certainly a horny bastard, but there's a purpose when her avatars solicit sex after healing your cancer. She is making an army. On earth, her demigods become her clerics, or get nepotism'd into another priesthood. If they become powerful enough, she spirits them away to her heavens to serve her as warriors and consorts.

There are three things called angels: Angels with a capital A, faceless, ethereal, terrifying embodiments of primordial good, who occasionally serve gods; Archangels, the godling children of Pelora and other gods who shall remain unnamed, and the angels of Pelora, the children of the goddess and her own demigods. Of the last, there are three kinds: Archons, who lead armies and, ahem, produce more angels with the goddess; Seraphs, who do battle with the forces of chaos; and Cherubs, who are either too weak, too young, or too old to perform active service, and therefore tend heavenly orchards or herd golden sheep to feed the armies. Don't get it wrong, Pelora loves all of them, and loves all people in general. Even in her divine supersoldier program, everyone is cared for tenderly in a literal paradise. It's just, there's a war going on, you know?

Bahamat thinks this is repulsive. Firstly the incest, but secondly, copulating with lesser races? Disgusting! Sure, we should protect the mortals, but there are better ways of going about it! Take, for instance, her dragonborn, produced by directly improving upon humans, rather than sullying the divine blood. Put them in a stone egg, expose them to the sacred fires for about a year or so, and they come out as though they'd never known the weakness of flesh at all. Bahamat and Pelora, despite their public alliance, are bitter rivals, and think each other as wicked as any of those gods that dwell in the Pit.

Avandros, Sehanine, and their fairy children are a little more lackadaisical about the war. They'll sometimes pop into the elemental chaos themselves, but only for a bit of sport. According to the other gods, they've grown far too puckish to care, and if they have any sort of plan, they haven't let it slip yet. Allegedly, they've taken to collecting odd bits of sentiment: dreams, love stories, adventures, children...

Moradi is long dead, or at least missing. Some say she went the way of Gruumsh, pouring too much into or getting too little out of her people, the dwarves. Others say she sequestered herself within them, each dwarf containing a minuscule shard of her power. Whatever the case, her clerics seem to still function, but are restricted to dwarves and those who are strongly dwarvish. The dwarves still produce legendary artifacts, deep within their mountain citadels.

Erathus and Melor have, together, the strongest claim for the creation of humanity, the greatest weapon of the gods. The spirits of men are like seeds taking root in the desert, holding the world firm and slowly imparting fertility and law. At their deaths, the Raven Prince, who was once a man himself but was raised to godhood for the purpose, disintegrates their spirit, scattering it like seeds to take new root in the bodies of new mothers. The greatest spirits produce thousands of seeds, but are also powerful in themselves as warriors against chaos. For this reason, the Compact of Spirits was made, to preserve for a time the greatest spirits in the heavens or the hells.

(Avandros, who is the main source of this information since it occurred before the arrival of Ioun, says that Erathus and Melor made humans during a brief and tumultuous, but passionate, affair. He is probably lying.)

Kord, The Raven Prince, Vecna, and Bane are the four gods who were once human. When Kord killed Anzu, Melor promised to share a third of his domain with her on the condition that she never do that again. Bane was given Gruumsh's vacant position by Ashmadeva. Vecna was a student of Ioun, but stole from them the secret of godhood. The circumstances of the Raven Prince's ascension are a very well kept secret.

There is, however, a fifth who was "mortal", so to speak, and ascended to godhood: Lakal, the world tree, was a godling of peace and beauty born of Melor and Pelora. The story is obscure as to whether she became a god before becoming a tree, and whether becoming the world tree was a punishment or a privilege. Despite her being truly a divine being like any god, she cannot answer prayers or grant powers. Because she is a tree.

Ioun, as is commonly known, was indeed once a star. What is not commonly known is that the stars are the bright guises of the entities of the Astral Sea, also called the Far Realm, beings of dreadful and incomprehensible thought. As a star, they were known as Caiphon, Ulthar, or Yoharneth-Lahai. They were curious regarding the world, and the great elder gods exiled them into it for their curiosity. The great, radiant bulk of their body lies beneath the Academy of Stars, buried by leagues of earth. 

(Ioun, of course, allowed Vecna's ascension. When asked, they said "[She] is the most intelligent being in this world, by far. Except for me, of course. But you'll have to grow up sometime.")

As for Gruumsh, one might wonder: is there such a thing as a good orc? In a sense, there is. But it is very rare. The Fields of Blood, you see, are impenetrably cursed. The whole expanse is haunted by millions of furious orc ghosts. Even the Raven Prince can no longer handle them, as they are so numerous that he might have to devote a century to the task at the expense of the whole world. When an orc is born in the Fields of Blood, dozens of orc ghosts latch onto their weak spirit and hold on with terrifying vigor, propelling the orc throughout its life in pursuit of sheer bloodlust. It would take an Archangel of Pelora to exorcise a single orc, and that might expend their power for a week.

Orcs born outside the Fields of Blood are not thus possessed, and are known as Half-Orcs (lacking half of what makes an orc). Many are known to lead very decent, even heroic lives, and they often devote themselves to Bahamat, Avandros, or Kord.

The duties of Ashmadeva and the rest of the gods of hell are, I hope, by this point obvious. Hell is the front lines of the War. Ashmadeva is the commander of the armies of hell, and Bane is her captain and strategist. Vecna and Torog search out new secrets and create soldiers to bolster the army. Zehira ensures the politics of the world do not interfere with hell's goals, and Lolth manages the home front, so to speak. Tiamut finances and, of course, makes dragons, the elite artillery of hell. (That thing about his "seed" is a lie he tells to stupid warlocks to piss off his sister. He makes them the old fashioned way.)

Devils of Ashmadeva (analogous in many ways to the Angels of Pelora), of course, get loose from time to time and cause havoc, so the good gods send them back to hell where they belong. Even if the gods of the world and the gods of hell are on the same side, you may be assured that the gods of hell are Evil. They are, to be certain, not Evil for Evil's sake. They are evil because they have no qualms, no scruples about the lives of humans or each other. They are utterly merciless, and have neither the time nor the energy for "happiness". Torture makes the troops fight. The goal of hell is to make carving a bloody path through the infinite fire-acid-claustrophobia of the Elemental Chaos the easy way out.

[Digression]

What is a Deva? A Deva is a member of the exceedingly rare constructed race known as the Imdeva. They possess strange bodies and spirits that may reincarnate fully formed in the domain of their patron, though they lose a great part of their spirit in the process. They tend towards extremes of good and evil. They were invented by the Sisters, Ashmadeva and Pelodeva.

[/Digression]

Tharizdun is truly said to be the father and mother of demons. The lie of Tiamut is truth in his case. It is commonly said that Tharizdun was an evil god seduced (literally?) by the Elemental Chaos, and his seed, the demonseed, grew into the Abyss, a tumor of evil beneath hell. But some say that he descended into the Elemental Chaos for some other motive. Some believe he was a god of Mercy, and sought to end the dawn war. Others that he was a god of trickery, and sought to turn the enemy against itself (and some say he succeeded). Others say he was a god of both life and death, and the gods were jealous of his power. Whatever the case, when he descended, the gods imprisoned him, and now there is no doubt as to his hatred and madness. The gods are silent on the truth.

DC 25

Here is a children's story that Ioun tells to his favorite students:

"Once, there was a man. We shall call him He-Who-Was, it is as good a name as any. He-Who-Was lived in a great city of light and darkness, where there lived many strange people who thought strange thoughts you would never ever think of. He-Who-Was thought many strange thoughts too, but they are things you might think of. He loved, above all things, multiplicity, and contradiction, and wonders, and he thought of things like law and chaos, good and evil, trees and cities."

"It happened one day that he met a woman, who we shall call the Lady. She loved simplicity, and logic, and was very strict. He-Who-Was fell in love immediately, because he loved contradiction, and she thought of all the things he couldn't think of. If he thought of colors, she thought of greys. If he thought of a billion, she thought of one. The Lady, it happens, loved him too, for he was only one thing, even if there was so many things in him. And He-Who-Was decided that they should move out of the city, and build a little place, a cottage in the wild places, away from the strange ideas of the city. It would be a place where there would only be the two of them, and their ideas."

"The people in the city laughed at him, because he went to live in the wild places and did not listen to their ideas, and they still laugh at him today. The beasts in the wilderness hated him, because he did not stay in the city, and brought his strange ideas to invade the wild places. But his cottage was strong, and far from the city, and the two of them lived happily."

"In time, He-Who-Was and the Lady had two daughters, twins. The Lady was horrified, and angry, because she wanted only He-Who-Was. She wanted one, and now there were three. She wanted the two of them to live together, and now there were four. Before she could think, she struck her husband, and tore him straight in two. To her shock, out of him came two sons, leaving the shell of his body behind. She could stay no longer, for the cottage was too full now of children and regret. She fled away, and built herself another cottage, even smaller and apart."

"The children were alone, and forced to keep the cottage against the wild beasts and hide from the strange city-folk. But the Lady was not heartless (though she would not like my saying so). So she spoke with the birds and sent them to watch over the children until they were grown, to feed them and warn them. And so, to this day, the four children (though there are more now) live in the cottage with the birds, and fight, and hide, and try to grow up, and the Lady lives apart, though now she so longs for her husband that she allows a few to enter her house."

"I tell you all this so that you might someday grow up too. And you may trust that I know what happened, because I saw it all. But don't worry about this story, because it is almost all lies."

Loch made this

god this post is so long.

GLoGtober 2.1: Castles in the Air (Hypogeum)

 

Its GLoGtober once again, and though I pretty much missed last year, I thought I'd return to form with some Hypogeum-posting. The prompt this time is "Atlantis-type situation but in reverse. It goes up instead of down."

Angels (also called Harpies, or simply the Winged People) are a race generally considered legendary in the Hypogeum. It is said they have wings rather than arms, and live in floating cities obscured by the haze of the upper reaches. Which is rather preposterous, isn't it? If humans developed wings, they could never use them to fly. They're too heavy! And floating cities? How would they navigate the narrow archways and passages that connect caverns?

Nevertheless, they are real.

(Spoilers ahead)

Angels are a race of sorcerers. Magic doesn't run in their blood, however. It runs in their feathers. Angel feathers are uniquely adapted to collect and store ambient magic. However, they use this great power rarely. This is because, without it, they would fall out of the sky.

Magic, as everyone knows, is a pervasive gas which tends to collect in liquids or crystals, suspended like the carbonation in a soda. Contrary to this force of suspension, magic is much lighter than air. This is why angels can fly, and why powerful sorcerers are such whimsical assholes: they take themselves lightly.

Because their wings collect magic, frequent flight actually makes it easier to fly, rather than tiring them out. However, an excess of magic in their wings can be rather uncomfortable in daily life (rather like being constantly tugged by your lapels). Since water can easily take up magic, it is easy to wash off, and produces quite potent magic potions. When they are flying, the water condensation on their wings often drops to the ground as droplets, often incorrectly called Angel Tears. When they are at rest, they save these magic potions for a different purpose.

The cities of the angels are diverse. However, contrary to popular belief, they are seldom monolithic structures. But they tend to have this in common: like the angels, they float by magic. Most angelic cities are aggregate structures, with each building or household being held aloft by its own means, and tied to other buildings by ropes. The means by which they hold magic vary: some employ balloons, while others are built around highly thaumiferous plants or minerals. The maintenance of these means is the main use of angel tears among angels themselves.

Rarely, lone angels or solitary clans will build their homes on large aerial darkbeasts. Though this often prevents them from joining a larger angelic city, it is generally agreed to be sick as hell.

The aggregate and modular nature of most angelic cities explains the conundrum of travel. When they wish to enter another great chamber in the hypogeum, they simply lead their buildings through whatever passages are necessary in single file. As well, it is entirely possible for certain buildings to break off and gradually reassemble a city-of-theseus elsewhere.

The extreme concentration of magic in their society obviously makes them targets for ambitious sorcerers and agents of the dragon. This is the reason for their extreme isolationism and nomadic lifestyle.

A description of the Heavens (hypogeum)

 

A sketch of an inhabitant drawn by the Sorcerer

This is an account of an expedition to the ceiling, by this humble creature. We made the usual journey from the village of the blue folk (which stands adjacent the cavernous ruins of the orb) by way of the western fountain path to the wall of the cathedral. Here, we set up a camp. We chose this place for it was known to be traversable vertically, owing to the rooms inset in the wall and the ledges higher up. Other places, the wall-rooms of which did not connect well, were not suitable.

After resting for a time (the lights passing half over the water), we resolved to ascend. The first room contained stairs upwards and downwards, as we had heard (it is said that the stairs down were where the Farmer discovered one of his specialty mushrooms, the one which produces a sweet distinctive taste, which was called by the humans "grape"). Traveling upwards, the way for four rooms was only of interest to a rock darkling, and there were a few other rooms besides which were dead ends. In this section I also discovered a fetching hat. 

As we ascended, the rooms became less tame. They were damp with cloud-dew, and colonized by buoyant moss and the creatures that ate it, and the creatures that ate them. Some of these proved troublesome, such as a darkbeast of the wall-crawling variety (There were few more substantial darkbeasts up here. Infrequent were the flat- or pad-footed beasts, and only sparse the hooved ones). The sorcerer called it a "spidery bastard" and set it aflame (we were lucky it was so damp). Many other things happened which I won't write about.

We eventually were forced out onto the ledges. They were paths wide enough that two could comfortably stand beside one another and have generous room. However, they were dangerous, because of the prevalence of flying beasts and other hazards. These attacks were especially dangerous because of the chance of falling. But we prevailed, in the end, and ascended 4 more levels. When this was done, the roof was in sight. However, in the end there was no way to reach it.

When this became apparent, we began looking for other things to do, since we were in such a special position. The sorcerer (who was a human), and the fighter (a grimalkin) simultaneously spotted a rare sight: an Angel flying about clouds. The rest of us could not see it, and the two who did soon reported it vanished. The two both began speaking very excitedly (one should always plug ones ears when this happens, but I did not). The next thing I knew, we were awkwardly flying towards the last place the angel was seen. I later found out that the sorcerer had drunken three mana potions (our entire supply) to give us this power.

I will not bother with the details of this flight, as I cannot properly render them. But soon we found where the angel had disappeared from and where it disappeared to. Simply, there was a village in the sky held aloft by some kind of balloons. 

Some people who read this might not have seen a balloon or even heard of it. It is a practice done by wizards where they take a special sack and fill it with magic which is lighter than air. This makes the sack float, and it can be tethered with a string and produce mirth. Sometimes a balloon may be made large enough to carry a person into the air for a short time. Humans claim that it is also a practice in their world, and more common than most other magics.

The balloons which held this village were greater, of course, than the balloons anywhere else seen. And this was not the only wonder, for it was evident that there was some illusion disguising the village causing it to be invisible from the ground. And of course there were the people who lived there.

It is a common rumor that there is a sort of human which possesses wings rather than arms and may fly around. It turns out this is true. The humans call these "Angels" (which is what I called it above) or "Harpies". The Sorcerer (who was beyond excited) called them "Ritos". The Sorcerer often says weird things.

They indeed flew around on wings which were their arms. Their legs and feet were dexterous as arms and hands, though the fact that they needed to either sit or balance on one foot made them disinclined to do unnecessary things. They occupy themselves with hunting and maintaining their village.

They hunt for things like aerial beasts, buoyant moss and fungi, as well as ground dwelling creatures small enough to take back to the village. They steal cloth to sew their balloons. They perform the magic that fills them. They gather water that condenses on them to drink. These are their daily tasks.

They are hidden, and free from the influence of the Dragon. They do not revere the forces, for they are humans and do not enter the ruins at all. They live perpetually in anxiety of the failure of their village, for if it does, they will have to hide away in high rooms. Now that we have found them, they will move on so that they are not found. Because of the fantastic nature of their habit and the incredulity of those who live below, they do not object to our speaking about them.

We stayed there for some days, until we left by the same manner as we arrived.

(Translator's note: This text was found in an abandoned village, presumably the "village of the blue folk", hidden in a secret compartment. I have taken many liberties in this translation to make it interesting to human readers, but the main events and descriptions, as well as a few phrases of particular interest, are intact. The veracity of these events is suspect, but I've learned not to dismiss anything)

More Angels, I guess

Average the above three pictures

Selenite Angels

Stats: as a powerful skeleton or weak nymph. Weakness to bludgeoning and slashing, but treat slashing as though it had +3 AC. Resistance to radiant (see below) Attacks: Glowing Beauty

These are the nobles of the heavens. They are physically weak, but they are beautiful. They can only see what they are actively touching. They often carry a light source, not to see, but to glow for others. If you can get them to make a deal with the devil (you), they make excellent lantern bearers and are knowledgeable in many things. They live in both the silver sands and the forest of the night

• Fiber-optics: radiant damage deals half damage to them. They can redirect the other half towards whoever, but do so as though blind, unless they are touching the target.
• Glowing Beauty: As long as they hold or are near a light source, they are filled with light. Creatures who appreciate light, like most humans, will think twice about attacking them, and may fall under their metaphorical spell.

Tactics: Befriend players (and backstab them if the reaction roll went poorly), Stockpile pyrotechnic angel bodyguards, live in beautiful slug-gardens or silver castles.

Sand Angels

but with more sand and silver

Stats: as water weirds or water elementals. Weakness to thunder, lightning, and piercing weapons with reach. Resistance to bludgeoning. Attacks: special

These don't serve as much of a purpose in heaven. They can serve as leaders to communities of human souls in the absence of other angels, and they are the main inhabitants of the solar reach, the area on the lunar sphere closest to the sun. They are shape-shifters with a literal heart of silver, which contains their soul, and it is what must break in order to kill them. Reducing them to 0 hp means they have lost the energy to continue fighting.

• Silver Sand: While sand angels are touching sand, they can change size at will. Most only get up to large, while the most powerful can become huge. When in a humanoid form, they can make 2 weapon attacks each round. A less humanoid form can perform 1 weapon attack and one Sand-Swipe attack (see below). A huge form can use three sand swipes, but must use flip a coin when they land the attack. If it lands tails, they must use the second effect of the sand-swipe
• Sand-Swipe: The Sand angel uses it's sand to attack, rather than an object. On contact, it deals damage equal to a club. If the sand angel has dealt more than twenty of this damage in total, the target must save or fall asleep (If the character already had damage from the blissed, this attack counts towards that instead. The physical damage is still preserved). Alternatively, the sand angel can make a sandy grab, immobilizing the opponent and preventing the sand angel from making another attack next round. This is the secondary effect listed above, and the character must make a strength/breath save or fall asleep before they can escape. If the Sand angel cannot make 2 sand attacks next round, it reverts back to medium size. If the Sand Angel cannot make any sand attacks, it reverts back to it's humanoid form.

Tactics: be a revered presence (even among these filthy devils), grow enormous if you're not taken seriously, only fight in the silvery sands.

Abyss Angels

Stats: as Giant, Sea serpent, Whale, Kraken, or Solar Angel (basically, whatever is big fuck-off powerful). Weaknesses: Harpoons, sometimes. Resistance: Bludgeoning, Slashing, Fire, Acid.

These are akin to the gods of the heavens. If you want to fight something near to Selene herself, fight one of these. Composed almost entirely of the water of life, They can produce amazing magical effects (Not gonna put a spell list here, because they are basically miracles). They have control over the seas, and can call forth tidal waves and create amazing things from water.

Like Sand Angels, they are shapeshifters. In their core is a sphere of semi-solid sand, silver, and glass containing 4 sand angel cores and the soul of the abyss angel encased in solid palladium. This space exists almost independently of the angel itself. It can be as large or as small as the angel wishes, regardless of the outside size of the angel. Some Abyss angel choose to create multiple manifestations of the same core. These manifestations appear in a more medium sized, humanoid form (solar angel).

I will now stop talking about all the things it can do and instead talk about the things it will probably do. If it creates multiple manifestations, it will probably house an entire dungeon at it's core as a defense. At the center of the dungeon will likely be the 4 sand angels. As the sand angels are defeated, the angel loses it's ability to control it's external form. This results in the forms of the angel becoming larger and larger, but also more erratic.

I won't discuss it's actual stats because it is unlikely to ever be fought, at least in it's larger forms. It's basically an aquatic tarrasque. It's more of a hazard than anything.

Does this all even make any sense?

Star-Speaker Angels

from angelarium

From Rupted on Tumble

These guys aren't so much angels as they are generic spirits. All the spheres have them, but they don't actually appear on their home sphere. They only manifest corporeally when in other spheres. When Star-speakers from the lunar sphere come to earth, they appear as blindingly white figures shrouded almost entirely with cloud and night. This shroud is basically their hazmat/space/fire suit. Like the lower spheres are caustic, boiling, suffocating places to humans, such is earth to the dwellers of the heavens. Thus, this bubble protects the angel's soul from the spirit-meltingly awful fumes and heat of earth. They mainly serve as messengers (in this sense, they are more angelic than all the other angels I have listed), and they parley with the powers and principalities of the earth. They vary greatly in terms of power. When you cast the spells Message or Contact Other Plane, you are summoning one of these, except you summon it from your own plane. Summon Star-Speaker is also probably a spell.
No stats, it's basically just a talking cloud.

If this is bad, tell me.

Things in the Moon World

What is the Moon World?

The earth is encapsulated by many, many crystal spheres, called the heavens. The sphere closest to the earth is the Lunar sphere, and on the surface of that sphere is the Lunar World. The Moon, the one we see, is a hole in this sphere, as are most of the stars (Some of the stars are holes punched through more spheres than the Lunar sphere. Mercury, for instance, is punched through two spheres, the lunar sphere and the mercurial sphere. Other planets are similar). In addition to spheres above the earth, the earth itself is a sphere with a multitude of spheres below it, that we know as the hells. The Moon World is dominated by a fertile desert of silvery sand and dark water, but not all areas on the Moon World are like this. Its like the ocean; most of earth is covered in it, but some of the most interesting places are not. These places include the Land of Pillars, the Solar Reach, The Country of the Selenians, and the Forest of the Night.

Dark Waters

How Do I Get to the Moon World?

The easiest way is to die a good man. The Moon World is basically heaven, so you'll go there if you reach nirvana, become a saint, something like that. Then you'll live a few lifetimes there in beautiful bliss. You'll go native, forget that you ever lived on earth, and try to work towards going up another level. 

If you want to get to the Moon World without reincarnating several times, you will probably get on a rocket or cannon. Then, you are shot through the largest hole in the lunar sphere, the Moon. However, you will probably be attacked by legions of celestials.

Silver Sands

How do the Moon People Feel About Us?

The newly reincarnated view us with grace and pity. However, they really can't express this as they are spending a short eternity in ecstasy and bliss. Those that have lived a few lives there view us with judgement and contempt. We are to be avoided or we might corrupt the good and decent folk up there. Incursions are to be dealt with swiftly and harshly. reincarnation is encouraged and accepted. If any celestial petitioners are sent to help the terrestrial sphere, they will be of the newly reincarnated, so we aren't murdured instead of help. Essentially, we are demons to them, albeit pitiful ones. They are the humans, in their mind. They have their own angels from the mercurial sphere. Demons similarly are formed from human souls, and view themselves as humans and view us as angels.

Who Rules the Moon?

The moon is ruled by She who Looks Down on Us with Grace, Selene. In a similar way to the souls reincarnated on the moon for their goodness, Selene used to be the godess of earth, but ascended because of her skill at producing good mortals. Gaia occupied the position of Moon Goddess before, but she was cast to earth to make way for Selene (Gaia doesn't really like Selene). The sphere directly below us, the underworld, the infernal sphere, is ruled by the goddess Cthon, who is really bad at producing good souls, and that's why we don't have any demons reincarnating into humans. I'll write about Cthon and the underworld later.

Earthly Servants of Selene

What can I Fight?!

The Blissed

The first thing you'll fight on the moon will probably be the legions of newly ascended souls. Their touch spreads agonizing bliss and, if you take too many hits, makes you forget about the lower world. The pain from fighting might give them clarity about their past lives, though to them this will seem like a vision of hell. 

HD: as commoner with exploding dice. Defence: as cleric. Attacks: +3 to hit, 1d2 psychic caress

• Beatific Touch: When The Blissed collectively do 10 damage to one target, that target makes a saving throw or fall into helpless bliss, which lasts until the next long rest. When they deal 30 damage to a target, the target must make a saving throw or forget about earth.

• Horrific Awakening: When The Blissed, or one of those that took an effect from Beatific Touch, take maximum damage from a weapon, they take an additional 1d6 psychic damage and then re-roll their reaction dice and become a commoner. This dispels any effect given by Beatific Touch

  

  Like These Except Really Happy

Pyrotechnic Angels

Angels are constructs built by Selene and other powerful moon-dwellers to house the souls of the souls which have reincarnated several times, and can no longer manifest their forms. These particular angels are used as shock troops, due to their volatility and distracting presence. Generally, the most wrathful and inspiring souls are used in these angels. They resemble rolls of paper, which unroll slightly into a small, flat figure with simple cut-out appendages, covered in glyphs and colorful ink. If they are burned heavily, or close enough to the roll, which contains magic explosive powder, they explode into dazzling, powerful humanoid forms for a short while before dissapearing. Their magic power is a potent drug as well as an explosive, and counts for all purposes as a soul. Their paper halves the cost of copying your next spell.

HD: as fire elemental. Defence: as fire elemental. Attacks: +5 to hit, 1d4+1 slashing damage (special)

• Dazzling Form: When The Pyrotechnic Angel takes fire damage from one attack equal to the number of its HD, or is reduces it to 1/8 its hitpoints, it makes a save (which it can, and likely will, choose to fail) or combusts into flame, dealing Xd8+3 radiant or fire (whichever is more effective) damage per attack, where X is the damage that the last fire attack dealt. It also gains immunity to fire and radiant damage. It persists in this form for a number of turns equal to its HD minus half the damage the last fire attack dealt, after which it fades and vanishes. It can also choose at any time to voluntarily combust.

  

  Probably Not Like This

Bismuth Angels

Like Pyrotechnic Angels, Bismuth Angels house a veteran soul. They are used as guardians and builders, and their touch creates strange order. They house creative and steadfast souls. They vary wildly, from the size of a pixie, to a crystalline behemoth. Shards of their crystal can be used as an arcane focus, or holy symbol, and it grants +1 AC and +1 to the relevant spellcasting score when casting conjuration and illusion magic.

HD: 1d8 Defences: as Earth Elemental or Iron Golem, with weakness to thunder & damage. Attacks: Xd6 piercing, cold, or force (whichever is more effective) (special) 

• Original Forms: Bismuth Angels roll 1d6 to determine size (1. tiny 2. small 3-4. medium 5. large 6. huge) and roll 1d8 to determine their number of hit dice.

  

  Yeah

• Crystallizing Touch: The Bismuth Angel's attacks deal damage equals to their number of hit dice. When this attack first hits a bloodied creature, increase their AC by 1 and halve their speed. 

  

  Also Yeah

• Creative Harmonies: Each round, the Bismuth Angel can, as a Move action, create a crystalline structure with an volume up to (5*(6-the result of the size roll)) Ft^3. This construction lasts for a number of turns equal to their HD.

  

  If you want, I guess? I Guess???

There are other angels, such as Selenite, Sand, and Abyss Angels. For variety's sake, I'll talk about other creatures.

Giant Fucking Marine Invertebrates

What else would you find on the moon?

But Larger

You can probably find stats for these. Giant Isopods and other chitinous creatures are used by souls that are between Blissed and Angels, conscious and human-like, for food and armor. Giant slugs are bred for beauty, docility, and size. The powerful, human and non-human, will create a sort of living, moving gardens out of exceptionally large and beautiful slugs. Sea Pigs are used as breeding grounds for giant snails, which are used like dogs to hunt or herd dangerous or useful creatures respectively. Sea cucumbers are bred for waste management. Squid, octopi, and cuttlefish are psuedo-sapient and are revered as seers and prophets. 

Greys

Yeah, why not? Here, they are known as Selenians. They cannot comprehend other spheres, as they are not of human souls. As such, they fall through stars like we fall down invisible wells. They are completely blind in terrestrial light, though they can operate acceptably under the light of the moon and stars. Those who survive the fall and aren't killed as a monstrosity spend their nights gazing upwards, seeing straight through to the lunar world above. They occasionally try to modify cattle and other livestock to resemble the invertebrates of the lunar world. If this is unsuccessful, they will starve on the meat of earth. Stats as commoners, though they might have some weird tech or magic.

I think that's alright. done.