Not RPG: Palm Sunday 2024

When comes that happy end, O Lord our God!
Your glory rains as blizzard-snow around!
Those feet that on the palms and nails have trod
shall tread the crystal crowns laid on the ground!

The city-song of triumph, loud, shall pale
before the angels sing the silent-song
and cloaks of many colors spread shall fail
below the snow-white tunics, cleansed of wrong

How shall this dirty spring of earth compare,
the dying blooms, e'en of the world in prime?
The glory of the coming summer where
We see the sun's orig'nal shine, sublime!

Have a happy (albeit snowy) Palm Sunday, everyone.

GLoGtober 2.1: Castles in the Air (Hypogeum)

 

Its GLoGtober once again, and though I pretty much missed last year, I thought I'd return to form with some Hypogeum-posting. The prompt this time is "Atlantis-type situation but in reverse. It goes up instead of down."

Angels (also called Harpies, or simply the Winged People) are a race generally considered legendary in the Hypogeum. It is said they have wings rather than arms, and live in floating cities obscured by the haze of the upper reaches. Which is rather preposterous, isn't it? If humans developed wings, they could never use them to fly. They're too heavy! And floating cities? How would they navigate the narrow archways and passages that connect caverns?

Nevertheless, they are real.

(Spoilers ahead)

Angels are a race of sorcerers. Magic doesn't run in their blood, however. It runs in their feathers. Angel feathers are uniquely adapted to collect and store ambient magic. However, they use this great power rarely. This is because, without it, they would fall out of the sky.

Magic, as everyone knows, is a pervasive gas which tends to collect in liquids or crystals, suspended like the carbonation in a soda. Contrary to this force of suspension, magic is much lighter than air. This is why angels can fly, and why powerful sorcerers are such whimsical assholes: they take themselves lightly.

Because their wings collect magic, frequent flight actually makes it easier to fly, rather than tiring them out. However, an excess of magic in their wings can be rather uncomfortable in daily life (rather like being constantly tugged by your lapels). Since water can easily take up magic, it is easy to wash off, and produces quite potent magic potions. When they are flying, the water condensation on their wings often drops to the ground as droplets, often incorrectly called Angel Tears. When they are at rest, they save these magic potions for a different purpose.

The cities of the angels are diverse. However, contrary to popular belief, they are seldom monolithic structures. But they tend to have this in common: like the angels, they float by magic. Most angelic cities are aggregate structures, with each building or household being held aloft by its own means, and tied to other buildings by ropes. The means by which they hold magic vary: some employ balloons, while others are built around highly thaumiferous plants or minerals. The maintenance of these means is the main use of angel tears among angels themselves.

Rarely, lone angels or solitary clans will build their homes on large aerial darkbeasts. Though this often prevents them from joining a larger angelic city, it is generally agreed to be sick as hell.

The aggregate and modular nature of most angelic cities explains the conundrum of travel. When they wish to enter another great chamber in the hypogeum, they simply lead their buildings through whatever passages are necessary in single file. As well, it is entirely possible for certain buildings to break off and gradually reassemble a city-of-theseus elsewhere.

The extreme concentration of magic in their society obviously makes them targets for ambitious sorcerers and agents of the dragon. This is the reason for their extreme isolationism and nomadic lifestyle.

For thrice ten thousand dwell on mother earth, Immortal (GloG: More gods for Adventurers)

 

The Twins (the Lovers, the Protectors of the Universe, the Wanderers)

A pair of messenger gods, male and female, who are probably not the same creature. They are considered subservient deities, receiving their power from many other gods. They are widely worshiped, yet have no cult-center. Being always moving, it is considered that one may worship them anywhere and receive their favor anywhere (albeit infrequently). They are thought of as intercessors, gift-givers, and patrons of humanity in general (as opposed to particular city states). It is said they invented mail, Angels, and bees.

(Digression on Angels: lower-case "a" angels, also called daemons, are spirits, animals, and minor gods in the employ of a god. They deliver messages and miracles (and MD) to people. They can generally look like anything. Upper-case "A" Angels are those guys with wings. They are also spirits, and mostly serve as lower-case "a" angels, but they have a union. Some Angels were once mortal).

The Twins are symbolized by Feathers, Mirrors, Eyes, Halos, Scales (both senses), and Honey

If you make an offering to the Twins by one of their shrines, there is a 4-in-6 chance each day that it will be taken by an angel to them, leaving in return an MD. If you try to make them your patron gods without actually offering to them in person, there is a 3-in-6 chance your offering gets eaten by one of their angels instead. The Twins know the following spells:

1. Cure Wounds
2. Featherfall
3. Message
4. Light
5. Paper Automaton
6. Mirror Image
7. Master Ludwig's Guiding Lights
8. Speak with Birds
9. Control Air
10. Grow Wings
11. Elegant Judgement
12. Resurrection

An Angel of the Twins knows (1d3)d4 of these spells, rolled with d12.

Laras-Ep-Korash (the Wise, the Opener of Ways, the Architect)

Laras-Ep-Korash is in many ways a typical god. He was a sphinx, deified in the city now bearing his name. He was a rather lawful creature before his deification, and so he remains. But as much as he loves laws, he loves loopholes, and as much as he loves riddles, he loves when they are solved. As such, he's rather fond of adventurers, even of a chaotic type, and especially wizards. He's considered the patron of several secret societies, both of wizards and of lawyers.

He is symbolized by Keys, Rams (both senses), and Floating Stone. He really enjoys long and repetitive poems praising him.

Laras-Ep-Korash has 7 MD. However, 4 MD are normally spent on various patronages. He has the following spells:

1. Lock
2. Knock
3. Deflect Spell
4. Orbiting Spikes
5. Wizard Vision
6. Wall of Stone
7. Track Leylines
8. Death Ward

Avikal (The Champion, The Nail-Driver, The Sudden)

Avikal is a hero, as well as a god. He was born, it is said, by the Father of Winds and Rains, and certainly has something of a meteoric nature. He blessed the city of Gorable with his patronage, but roves far and wide slaying monsters, and imprisoning those he can't slay. He was the one who imprisoned Pysoloth beneath Charpysos with his Lightning Stakes. There's a festival every year where people reenact his various conquests (both senses) in pantomime, often against papier-mache monsters (which might even be more gruesome than the originals).

He is symbolized by Nails (and consequently Hammers), Borders, Fur, and Dry Lightning.

Avikal has 6 MD and gives them out rarely to really cool people. He knows the following spells:

1. Hold Person
2. Geld Animal
3. Mighty Thews
4. Imprison
5. Magic Weapon
   
6. Lightning Bolt
   

Lest Thou Be Filled Therewith (GLoG: Wizard) + d6x7 Sandwiches

Confection Wizard

Starting Equipment: Chef hat but it has a wizard brim, wooden spoon
Perk: Advantage on reaction for children and nobles
Drawback: Effects can be dispelled by water
Cantrips:

• Conjure a handful of sparkly sugar-substitute. No calories. If you throw this at someone, its about as effective as sand.
• Spend 10 minutes running your hands over your clothing to remove any stains or dirt.
• Taste a food to learn how long ago it was created, and get an impression of its creator

Spells: 

1. Crystallize
2. Summon Candles (see Here)
   
3. Steel to Spun Sugar
4. Rock Candy Regalia
5. Candycane of Thalia
6. Savorous Sweets
7. Gingerbread House
8. Summon Marshmallow
9. Cottoncandy Web (as Entangling Web)
   
10. Become Delicious (see Here)
    
11. Chocolate Replica
12. Let Them Eat Cake

Crystalize
R: 60' T: Creature or Object D: Instant
Target takes [Sum] damage. Plants or other especially sugary creatures take twice as much. Sugar will drop out of solutions, and rations will be candied. By default, this crystalizes sugar, but with 2 dice you can target salt, and with 3+ you can target more esoteric compounds.

Rock Candy Regalia
R: Touch T: Creature D: [dice] Hours
Target is bedecked in crystalline jewelry and fondant in the form of an elaborate formal costume. They gain +1 AC and are sufficiently dressed for a ball. (The transformation is pretty much just like Cinderella)

Candycane of Thalia
R: 30' T: Creature or Object D: Instant
A giant candycane grabs the target and drags them [highest]*5' (maximum) in any direction and path. It has a strength of 18. If the target is small and without anything to hook onto, it only can drag them half that distance.

Savorous Sweets
R: Touch T: N/A D: 1 Minute
[dice] magic, dice-shaped candies are summoned in the caster's hand. They each heal whatever number was displayed on the die when eaten.

Gingerbread House
R: Touch T: Special D: 8 Hours
A fully furnished gingerbread house of up to [dice]*100 Square Feet is constructed over the course of the next 10 minutes by Elves (the chill kind, not those other bastards). Obviously not effective for rain, but very good for winds and snows. Also counts as rations! Can't be constructed to overlap with things too big for it to contain (e.g. pillars or trees). Also, the elves can be rather skittish, and have a morale of 6+[highest]. They'll resume work when danger is gone. If [sum] is more than 12, it is permanent (though not imperishable).

Summon Marshmallow
R: 60' T: [dice]*10' diameter D: 1 Minute
A giant marshmallow explodes into existence with a muffled Fwumph. Creatures in the diameter are flung comically away, traveling 5 feet beyond the circumference of the marshmallow. Can be cast in reaction to falling. Highly flammable.

Chocolate Replica
R: Touch T: A sufficient amount of chocolate D: [dice] hours
Over the course of a minute, you shape the chocolate into a shocking lifelike simulacrum of whatever object you desire. For the duration, the chocolate behaves as that object would behave. For instance, a chocolate cart could haul loads that would normally break the weaker material, or a chocolate sword would be sharp enough to deal damage. When cast with more than 3 Dice, this can include being animate and mimicking sentience (though, creatures made with this spell have an eerie, permanent smile). If attacked, the replica has [highest] HP, no AC, and cannot attack. At the end of the duration, the replica becomes a mundane, though still very lifelike, chocolate statue.

Let Them Eat Cake
R: 200' T: [sum]*10 creatures in range D: Instant
A Small, Delicious cake in a flavor appealing to the individual appears in front of each creature in a small burst of confetti, hovering until they grab it. This cake counts as a single ration.

Mishaps:
1. MD only return to your pool on a 1-2 for 24 hours
2. Take 1d6 damage
3. Random mutation for 1d6 rounds, then Save. Permanent if you fail.
4. Lose sense of taste for 1d6 days. This includes aesthetic taste (though you probably didn't have that anyway).
5. Overcome by a Bitter-Sourness for 1d6 rounds (its like a Warhead mixed with Black Tea)
6. Require [highest] additional rations, or [highest]/2 rations with considerable sugar content.

Dooms:
1. You become made of sugar for an hour.
2. You become made of sugar for a day.
3. You are permanently made of sugar

Extra: d6x7 Sandwiches

What is Above is What is Below (GLoG: Wizard)

 

Mage of Pacci (Single Template)

You've studied under the tutelage, or the tomes, of that eccentric wizard Pacci. Among wizards, he alone was simple: the man liked to flip things upside-down. The teachings of Pacci can be learned within a week, but can only be applied through leveling up personal growth.

This template counts as if you had advanced (or started) in a wizard class. However, when you would gain spells from your wizard class, you gain 1 less than normal, and gain the spell Pacci's Inversion instead.

Pacci's Inversion
R: Line of Sight T: Creature or Object D: Instant
Target is picked up and flipped upside-down by some golden sparkles. This spell can target a [dice] HD creature, or an object sized up to: human-sized, ogre-sized, house-sized, tavern-sized

If you take this as your first wizard template, you gain any other spells from the Orthodox Spell List.
You also gain the following cantrips:
1. Move a light object with a wave of your finger. You could cause a coin to roll along the ground or turn the pages of a book, but you couldn't open a door or lift a stone.
2. Flick something within 30'. Cannot deal damage, but can knock over a coin or make a faint noise.
3. Enchant a hole or divot to act as a springboard. Increases one jump by 5'. Can spend dice as a spell to increase the jump by [dice]*10'. This technically counts as a casting of Pacci's Inversion

You gain no perks or drawbacks as a Mage of Pacci, but you might gain some when you learn another wizard school. Each template of another school that you take can replace one Mage of Pacci cantrip.

Stolen shamelessly from Zelda.

Whoever You Be, Baffling our Efforts to Behold You (GloG: Deities for Adventurers)

 Some gods, somewhat arising from this. Probably I'll do more at some point.

Comus (the All-Great, The Heart-Kindler, The Night's Consolation)

Comus is the wildly popular living god of revelry, change, and adventurers. He lives in Ortom, where he was originally deified several centuries ago. He invented satyrs, and a considerable portion of his power was spent into creating the rite of Carousing. The Feste is held once a year in his honor, and thousands flock to Ortom to offer sacrifices and participate in the drinking and cross-dressing. It is said that he selects two people who attend and trades their faces (or, some say, their fates).

Comus is symbolized by torches, moons, flies, incense, and flint. And wine, obviously.

Comus is a greater god with several minor gods beneath him. He has the following spells: 

1. Disguise
2. Fear
3. Water to Wine
4. Flip Person
5. Control Flame
6. Moonlust
7. Grease
8. Charm Animal
9. Become Delicious
10. Forceful Boor
11. Sway Crowd
12. Polymorph

His minor gods have a selection from among these spells, and typically 3-4 MD. If you venerate him exclusively, you get these cantrips:

1. You can crowdsurf on any crowd. This includes hostile ones.
2. You can elect not to spill liquid from a cup in your hands, or to spill it selectively.
3. Once per night, you can cause moonlight to become bright light within earshot.

Pysoloth (The Chained-Calamity, the Misshapen, the Lament of Laughter)

Pysoloth is the god of Charpysos. He is depicted as a kind of hairless dog, or swollen snake. He was a demon, and it is claimed he is kin to Virs. He was semi-successfully placated and mostly imprisoned below Charpysos, and now acts as a guardian deity of sorts. He is a spiteful god of disaster and deformity, and one of several gods who created goblins independently. Superstition holds that speaking his name will cause a petty misfortune to befall you or (usefully) a nearby goblin. He thinks its hilarious.

Pysoloth is symbolized by dogs, snakes, lightning, birthing huts, and beards

Pysoloth is not widely worshipped, but powerful in his own right. He has 6 MD (4 on his own) and the following spells:

1. Sticks to Snakes
2. Stormcaller
3. Monsterize
4. Violently Depilate
5. Curse
6. Mutate

He may also grant the cantrip:

1. A misfortune befalls a goblin you can see. Works once per goblin.

Kerteras (The Fallen Sun, the Protector, the Weaver of Raiments)

Kerteras was once the god of an empire which stretched over much of the known world. His origin is highly disputed, but he took on the title of the god of the sun. When the capitol was eventually put under seige by the tactical genius Lyr, the flow of offerings was interrupted. Worshipers turned to their own local gods, previously subservient to Kerteras, and even those gods who were loyal had no way of communicating their power to Kerteras. This led to Kerteras losing most of his power, the capitol falling, and the empire collapsing.

The worship of Kerteras was forbidden by the occupying (now ruling) force, but the existence of remnant cults is an open secret. Most ruins of the old empire contain a shrine to Kerteras, and he is now revered as a god of ruins and hidden gold. 

Kerteras is symbolized by Suns, Gold, Robes, Eight-Petaled Flowers, and Eight-Legged Creatures

Kerteras is now a minor god with only 3-4 MD at a given time, though he has a Lot of MD inaccessible in shrines. However, being once-great, he possesses many spells:

1. Cure Wounds
2. Hold person
   
3. Summon Candles
   
4. Speak with the Eight-Fold
5. Entangling Web
6. Detect Gold
7. Force Field
8. Circle of Frost
9. Spiderclimb
10. Summon Vestements
11. Wall of Earth
12. Plague of Sunstroke

Kerteras also established cantrips for his followers, which still work for those who worship him exclusively:

1. Once per day, produce 10' of rope (from your fingers) or a bottle-worth of ink (from your tear-ducts). Both are flecked with gold (and illegal in the once-capitol). The rope rots within a few weeks, and the ink coagulates if unused.
   
2. Speak a one-word command. Any number of people you can see follow it for one round. Works once per person.
3. Create a tiny light as bright as a match on your fingertip.

Stolen by Bats: Correspondent

 

Sunless Seas

No permission from Loch. If he wants to make his own (undoubtedly better), use his.

Correspondent

They say...
You've begun to study the Baroque and Primeval writings of Xanadu. Unwise, if you value your eyebrows.

+1 Mirrors and +1 Sigil per Template
Starting Equipment: Pot of Violant Ink, Faded Morning Suit, Burning Smell, Semiotic Monocle, 3 Blank Lead Plaques.
Skills:1) Academia 2) Archaeology 3) Engineering 4) Law 5) Poetry 6) Astronomy
A - Inflammatory Language, Adamic, +3 Sigils
B - Mixed Media
C - Gramarye, Eyes of Icarus
D - Red Science

Inflammatory Language
You've learned a few symbols of the language they call the Correspondence. As far as you can tell, each symbol is a highly specific, yet incredibly vague ideogram. You know how to write and use 3 such sigils, and you can get a vague idea of the contents of a message written in any common Correspondence sigils.

That is, if you can survive reading the message. Writing Correspondence on anything has the effect of setting it on fire, and reading correspondence written on anything has the effect of setting you on fire. Paper is set alight by 1 unique sigil, Stone by 3, Lead by 6. Reading a message in correspondence deals 1d6 fire damage per unique sigil. This is not based on comprehension, but rather on concentration. Looking at a Correspondence message through your Semiotic Monocle reduces the damage by one sigil.

Adamic
Next to Correspondence, every language is trivial. You can begin to understand any language in about an hour, given reference materials.

Mixed Media
You can depict correspondence in other forms than simple writing. If you have a skill in an artform, you can use that to communicate Correspondence Messages, with the same effect on the medium and audience as regular Correspondence Messages.

Gramarye
You can create Correspondence Messages that communicate something definite, so long as what you communicate is a synthesis of the Sigils used. For instance, if you use the Sigils "To Become Fire Rather Than Be Burned" and "The Conquest of an All-Too-Familiar Rival", you could communicate "My rival has surrendered and we're friends now", or "I'm blowing you up with a Hydrogen Bomb", or many other things. Rarely, this can produce esoteric effects.

Eyes of Icarus
You have developed some ability to withstand Correspondence. You reduce the damage of all Correspondence Messages you read by 2 sigils.

Red Science
You can now reliably produce esoteric, world-bending effects using combinations of Correspondence sigils. When you do this, roll d6s equal to the Sigils that you are using. If any show a 1, a 6, or Doubles, your Red Science fails, and deals damage equal to [sum] to you. You might just want to use the Sorcerer to adjudicate this.