More to be desired are they than gold, yea, than much fine gold (Class: Wizard)

 

You are a devotee of the Cosmic Law of ANU. You must keep the covenants, and thereby keep the wheels turning.

You gain +1 Magistrate Die per level, which function the same as Magic Dice.

Perk: When you enter a situation, you always know how its laws deviate from common law. Laws include Cosmic Laws, Physical Laws, Moral Laws, Civil & Military Laws, and Courtesy Laws. 

Drawback: Knowingly breaking a Law disables all your abilities until you make restitution/receive punishment.

(If you don't know the common law for some situation, try and find the equivalent in the code of hammurabi.)

There are three tiers of Law. Tier one cannot be acted against. Tier two can be acted against with intrinsic punishment, whether immediate or long term. Tier three can be acted against with extrinsic punishment, carried out by a Lawful being.

By spending 1+ MD, a tier three law may be upgraded to tier two (or may stay the same tier). 2+ MD may be spent to upgrade a tier two law to a tier one law (or with 1+ MD may stay the same tier). You may spend any amount of additional MD on this upgrade. [Sum] may be distributed to upgrade the following (which start at their lowest value, and are upgraded by steps costing their new value):

Immediacy*: 1 Afterlife Consequences / 2 Within the Year / 3 Within the Week / 4 Right Now

Severity**: 1 Stern Disapproval / 2 Half Reciprocal / 3 Full Reciprocal / 4 Twice Reciprocal***

Broadness: 1 Letter of the Law / 2 Reasonable Interpretation / 3 Unreasonable Interpretation

* For tier three this is based on lawful discovery chance. For tier one this doesn't apply.

** For tier one this doesn't apply

***If you don't know, 1 damage or minum status / 1d6 or minor status / 2d6 or major status / death

Most laws start with some place on these tracks. "Eat soup with the Soup Spoon" for instance is a tier three (4/1/1). If you upgrade it to tier two, it stays (4/1/1) but is now naturally punished (You are naturally disappointed in yourself or 1 damage). If you spend 2 of your [sum], you can upgrade the severity (I dunno with this one, at least 1d6 damage in morale). (I'm not going to write for every edge case, figure it out. This class will cause arguing, its called Ludo-narrative resonance)

You can decrease laws in a similar way, but this counts as breaking them.

At Second Level, you can store up a law you encounter and implement it in another situation with 1 MD. After all, it is an emanation of the Cosmic Law.

At Third Level, you can change the punishments (or rewards) for Laws, as long as they are equal. For instance, you could change fines to lashings, or ostracism to mockery.

At Fourth Level, You create a Demiplane. Its inadvisable you enter this Demiplane until you collect sufficient laws to allow you to exist in it.

GLoGhaven

 

:/

I do not like Strixhaven. As an MTG set, it was ill-conceived and cringey. When they adapted it for 5e (curses on its name), they further stripped it of all interest by making every subclass only affect combat (not to mention straight up forgetting what some of the schools were all about). It is egregious and I cannot abide by its very existence in the world, whether I play either game or not. There should not be a world in which Strixhaven, as it currently stands, exists. So it falls to me, the ultimate abiter of good taste, to make things RIGHT. You could rearrange these into wizard school cantrips easily.

LOREHOLD

A: You can read any language that you've never heard spoken.

B: If you have most of the pieces and spend a bit fiddling, broken things work once for you.

C: When you tell a proper story, everyone sits up and pays attention. This includes the dead. 

D: You can talk to ruins, relics, and artifacts. They are surprisingly mobile when they want to be.

PRISMARI

A: As long as you are touching it with your hands only, you can sculpt non-solid elements into solid forms.

B: You can perform a dangerous dance which causes you to become the center of attention. You can do this while attacking.

C: While performing the dance, choose two non-solid elements. You can manipulate those elements in [class level]*5' as if you were using your hands.

D: You can shape non-solid elements into creatures, though you have to take more time for bigger creatures and you can't control more than one.

QUANDRIX

A: You are a smartypants, and can estimate and calculate easily (use Wolfram Alpha) / You can do minor shenanigans: illusory duplicates, acting as though you had two extra mage hand arms, and vanishing completely for half a second.

B: You can spend up to [template] minutes calculating, after which you can summon a fractal that looks how you choose which deals [minutes] damage attacking, has [minutes] HP, and armor as chain. Very Pointy. Lasts [minutes] minutes.

C: You can cause people to think you are an expert and a great wizard by saying something about "quantum"

D: You can sacrifice a fractal to open a portal to its location, which lasts [minutes] rounds.

SILVERQUILL

A: You can create light as a lantern. You bleed ink.

B: You can use up a well of ink to summon a little imp thing. You must give it a secret (may be untrue), which it loves to tell to people (though it loves people admiring it more). Annoyingly intelligent. You can fully control [templates] instances.

C: People believe it when you lie.

D: You can use up a book's worth of ink to fly, somehow.

WITHERBLOOM

A: You can make any organic material into food, or poison

B: You can expend all your rations or all your poisons to make that many noxious pests. You can't control them at all and they love nothing more than causing plague and famine and souring cow milk.

C: You can cause bones (nonliving) to float, and living plants to grow at twice the rate.

D: If you have a whole living creature, you can make the entire thing (including the soul) into food that fully heals all who consume it (if it is the same sort of creature as the consumer, it can even revive the dead), or a potion that transforms the consumer into that creature. Both effects cause the consumer to gain some or all of the memories and feelings of that creature.

EXTRA CREDIT

*: You can keep excellent hold on an item, even if you trip.

*: You can cast spells or abilities one handed OR while running.

*: If a spell or ability would requires materials, time, etc. you can ignore that and use it as though you used the least amount of those possible [templates] times per day

*: You can use an ability at the same time you cast a spell

*: You know how to find things in any library

*: You get invited to wizard banquets

*: With lab conditions, you can keep spell or ability effects going indefinitely

*: You can slowly levitate a foot off the ground

*: In a land aligned with your college, cast with +1 magic

*: You can try to cast any spell reasonably within your schools domain with instability equal to your magic.

*: Once per template, cast a spell you don't know.

Gates (Hypogeum)

[Portals don't get an art]

Gates are sort of a black box. They are found, occasionally, in the Hypogeum. They look like glowy bits of vaguely circular 2d geometry about the size of a person. They can appear when you solve a puzzle or get to the end of a dungeon. Most of the time they, at least one of the gates appear nearby the thing that "caused" them. Sometimes they don't, though. People near the gate when it opens sometimes report hearing a sound, but accounts vary (sometimes like the tinkle of a bell, sometimes a "VOOM", different people hear the same gate opening different ways). They don't appear to be made out of Stuff, and they aren't affected by magic. If you break a wall around a gate, the gate stays there.

Almost all gates are blue. 

Gates, as was implied, usually come in pairs of two. Going in one gate brings you out the other. Simple. Gates are permanent. No one has ever reported a gate closing, at least. Gates always go both ways. This is not always useful. You can't be halfway in a gate. Going into it at all brings you out the other. Nobody knows what constitutes matter gates transport. It almost always includes people and creatures (including living plants), but sometimes doesn't include things like clothes, while other times you can push a wheelbarrow through. Smart travellers wear weavemoss underwear.

Gates usually transport you a fair distance. People report gates that they open usually bring them to somewhere the want or need to be. Definitely not always true, but it is significant. Other "favorites" of gates seem to be local landmarks and places so far away nobody's ever heard of them, except maybe in legend. If gates were truly random, as some claim, it should almost always transport you very far away, since there is a lot more of "far away" than "close". So they probably aren't exactly random. Also, gates that transport you far away apparently tend to be "temporary one-ways". That is, they'll drop you non-lethally from a high up platform that is difficult to ascend to, or release you in a lake so deep you barely make it to the top, or exit into a structure that locks as soon as you walk out.

You shouldn't go into a gate if the geometry isn't perfectly two dimensional, and you shouldn't go through a gate that isn't blue. Or at least, so they say.

[I don't like this prompt]

Glog Class: Duelist

 Duelists are fighters who specialize in one-on-one combat, obviously. The Duelist's main weapon is their sword, which they use to

You thought you were going to read a blog post about fancy sword fighters, but really you've activated my trap card! Despite my never having watched Yugioh, I will make a decisive post about it because I think its hilarious.

A/Δ: A Children's Card Game, +1 Card
B: The Shadow Realm, +1 Card
C: Heart of the Cards, +1 Card
D: Play Pokemon for Everyone's Souls, +1 Card

A Children's Card Game

Get weirdly invested in some cards (and out of game bring a deck for yourself and enough for the DM to make ones for certain NPCs)

You are really good at one game (mtg, pokemon, yugioh, etc. It should be one everyone at the table knows). Pare down the game in whatever way makes it quick enough for the game-in-a-game to not be an issue. You have one card, unique in your deck, which basically makes you win if you can get it out (+1 every level). The DM might let you "summon" that card, as though casting a spell. If you challenge someone to a card duel in game, they probably know the rules, have a deck, and might accept if intelligent and not currently violent.

The Shadow Realm

If someone would otherwise accept your duel, you can set some ludicrous material or metaphysical stakes. The stakes must be in the possession of the participants, but can be things like memories, working limbs, or their corporeal form. At the end of the duel, the loser loses their stake (up to the DM if the winner gains their stake). If you send someone to the shadow realm that still counts as murder.

The Heart of the Cards

You can lose 1d10 HP, or 1 Card to search your deck for a card and put it on top.

Play Pokemon for Everyone's Souls

You can stake the fate of the world on a duel. That is, you can decide to start the apocalypse if you win the duel, or stop the apocalypse if you win against the one who started it.

All magicians are logicians

Hyper Incomplete High Concept

All the players are wizards. The setting is modern day. Each wizard has one axiom, of the form All Subject is Predicate or No Subject is Predicate. Subject and Predicate can be anything the player wants. Players can do anything a normal human can. Players can also Conclude and Justify their axioms. Concluding an axiom allows you to enforce the consequences of that axiom. Justifying an axiom allows you to enforce the cause of that axiom. An example: John has the axiom All Cats are Hairless Felines. John, if he encounters a cat (which is, of course, hairless), can Conclude from his axiom that cats would die in the winter of a  temperate location, and thus cannot exist here, at his home on the east coast, during January (the high formal logic version is All cats are Hairless Felines. No Hairless Felines are Winter Winter Adapted Felines. Therefore,  No Cats are Winter Adapted Felines). Alternatively, by expending far more power, John can Justify his axiom, backtracking along a foreign line of logic. Perhaps Cats are Hairless because a Cat (and, by association, all felines) is a kind of octopus (formally: All Octopeople are Hairless. All Cats are Octopeople. Therefore, all Cats are Hairless). How much power is expended whenever you use either ability depends on how many formal logic steps it takes to get to the final result.

Memes? In MY blogposts? Its more likely than you think.

Variations

• Mother Necessity: Wizards only have one part of their axiom (S or P) until they decide to use their axiom, after which it becomes unchangeable. 
• Nobilis Rip-off: No limit on how much axioms can be used.
• Define Subject: Each wizard has the same subject for their axiom. No contradictions.
• Informally: Power expended depends on how long it takes to convince the DM
• Principle Explosion: Wizards can take two axioms. Contradictory axioms are encouraged.
• Modernity: Wizards can use imaginary things as part of their axiom.
• Fuck Plato: All of the above