Class: Ineffectual Villain(s)

Definitely A Bad Guy

You are evil. For sure. You just hang around these goody-two-shoes because it's convenient. Those do-gooders know it too because you tell them often and theatrically.

GLoG

Skills: Theater, Engineering, Tragic Backstory

1: Schemes, Unlucky-Luck, Contraptions

2: Theatricality, +1 Unluck

3: Improvise, +1 Unluck

4: The Boss, We Live Here Too

Six Level
1: Schemes, Unlucky-Luck
2: Contraptions, +1 Unluck
3: Theatricality
4: Improvise, +1 Unluck
5: The Boss, +1 Unluck
6: We Live Here Too

Class Feature: Schemes

You have a plan. Those fools have lead you right to the key to World Domination! Now you just need to get it before they do.

You always have the same general knowledge as the rest of the party, sans maybe a few key details. This knowledge comes from spying on them. You are also always near the party, to the point of being able to intervene, steal, or kidnap when you desire. The party has no knowledge of your presence until you make yourself known. You can steal, kidnap, or intervene 1 time per level per day before your villainous pride forces you to reveal yourself, or else the sudden disappearance becomes noticeable. 

As well, when a magic item or other treasure becomes known to you, you may stipulate an alternate use for that treasure, which may become relevant if you steal it. This item becomes the Target of your scheme until you select a new target

Additionally, if a XP-for-GP system is used, you instead gain XP for every GP you acquire which then falls into the hands of the main party to your dismay.

Class Feature: Unlucky-Luck

You don't always succeed, but you live to see another day. You have a pool of Unluck, which you may use to accomplish your nefarious ends. You may invest a point of Unluck into your schemes to bring you a substantial amount closer to the Target of your scheme through some improbable circumstance. For instance: You fall down a cliff into a secret entrance to the dungeon, a more substantial villain bungles up and the treasure falls into your hands, you crack a joke which you then realize is insight into the puzzle, or some improbable object literally falls from the sky. This can only be used twice for every one "step" that the main party makes toward the same goal.

While you still have at least one point Unluck uninvested, any damage that would kill you instead sends you non-lethally flying, scurrying away, captured temporarily, etc. This consumes the point of Unluck. If this is not your last point of Unluck, you may attempt to make a wise-crack about the situation. If the DM approves of your joke, you may regain up to half your HP and invest that point into your scheme.

If you spend your last point of Unluck on anything, you fall victim to your own Hilarious Hubris. Your contraption explodes, your web of lies falls apart, the treasure had some trap or curse, or the rest of the party beats you handily. If this point allows you to actually have the target in your possession, and there is another group physically present, the target falls preferentially into the hands of a group that isn't the party. But if only the party is present, the target falls to them (and you get XP). This whole process returns all invested Unluck (thus, you cannot die directly to Hilarious Hubris). This returned Unluck cannot be invested toward the same scheme. Hubris gives an additional save on lingering effects such as curses and diseases when you recover from whatever incapacitation it results in.

Class Feature: Contraptions

You may invest Unluck to produce a device of villainy! Using at least one Unluck and a downtime action, you may create a vehicle, inator, or trap. These devices (which may be mechanical or magical) have certain standard qualities, depending on what it is:

• Vehicle: Requires access to a town to construct. A mode of transportation which can travel over/in your choice of land, sky, sea, or some other exotic thing. The standard qualities are: Not-Fast, Self-Destructive, and Ridiculous.
• Inator: Requires access to a town to construct A ray or machine which produces an overly specific (and ontologically fragile) effect. The standard qualities are: Stationary, Self-Destructive, and Ridiculous.
• Trap: A trap which prevents movement or escape. The standard qualities are: Stationary, Rescuable, Non-lethal.

The standard qualities may be removed by spending additional Unluck, at a rate of 1 point per quality, or replaced with another quality at a rate of 1 point per 2 qualities. 

• Non-Lethal: This device draws no blood, has no poison, and cannot produce any permanent harm aside from bruises.
• Not-Fast: This device moves slowly, but moves on its own power. If this quality is standard and removed, it moves quickly.
• Remote-Control: This device has a remote control which may effect its other functions. Self-Destruct counts as a function.
• Rescuable: The effect produced by this device may be dispelled with reasonable effort by anyone unaffected by those effects.
• Ridiculous: This device is clearly out of the ordinary. Removing or replacing this quality does not change its appearance, but covers it with a sheet so its nature is not clear until it is used. Alternatively, removing it causes it to be mistaken for modern art (assuming modern art exists).
• Self-Destructive: This device has a button on it which makes it explode, for some reason. When it explodes, you may choose whether it deals damage, whether that damage is lethal, and how much damage it does (maximum [level]d6). This also irresistibly damages you, or causes a karmic backlash for the same amount of damage. Lethal damage dealt this way cannot be resisted with Unluck, but  non-lethal damage dealt this way can (and must) be resisted.
• Stationary: This device cannot move.

[Optional rule: Creating devices more than once a week leaves you broke, unless all of those devices were traps. You'll scrape up enough to survive (and probably build more devices), but you won't have any spending money]

Class Feature: Theatricality

When you act with Flamboyance and Panache (e.g. declaring your presence, swooping in at the last moment, jump from a window, ride a rope ladder away), you gain an extra Unluck point (max one). Additionally, while you are acting this way and have not invested your extra Unluck, you are considered mostly harmless by authorities. The extra Unluck lasts for [level] hours and cannot be invested in schemes. If you fail to act with Flamboyance and Panache (e.g. get ruffled, put on a serious face, try and kill someone, invest Unluck in a scheme), you pratfall, destroying whatever that Unluck was invested in (returning the rest of the dice to you). This is not Hilarious Hubris, and those remaining Unluck points may be reinvested in the scheme. The first action of Flamboyance and Panache after a pratfall automatically succeeds (all others are adjudicated normally).

Class Feature: Improvise

If you get distracted from your original scheme without succumbing to Humorous Hubris, you gain an extra Unluck point which is invested in your Scheme. If you get distracted from the new scheme, gain 2 points. This only effects distraction where the new scheme gives a higher value treasure (measured by the alternate use stipulated when the treasure is targeted)

The Boss

You are subservient to a greater villain, who is vastly more competent with extensive resource networks. If you can contact and convince The Boss of the value of your scheme, he may send you a Device with your choice of qualities, or several underlings to aid you. Underlings are trained for combat and will follow your orders with high morale but test morale as normal hirelings if you spend an invest an Unluck point in a scheme, Pratfall, or if one of your devices self-destructs. Custom Devices may be of any type, but are wrecked if you use more than half your Unluck (not counting extra Unluck). You lose both if you fall to humorous hubris.

If you wreck your custom device or lose control of your hirelings and don't deliver the treasure to the boss, you go broke and can't call on the boss until you've proven yourself.

If you wreck the device or lose control of hirelings and do deliver the treasure, you get paid and get 1.5 times the XP value for the treasure.

If you don't wreck the device, keep the hirelings, and deliver the treasure, you get paid and get 2 times XP for the treasure and you get to keep whatever the boss gave you.

If you don't wreck your assets but don't get the treasure, you have to convince the boss that you still need them (or just lie and say you are still on your previous scheme).

We Live Here Too

If the world is in danger, or some villain of incomparable cruelty is opposing the main party, you may invest your Unluck to bumble your way into helping the party. Spending Unluck in this way never incurs Hubris. Instead, if you spend your last Unluck in this way, you have the choice of:

• Joining the Party. This may cause a change of class.
• Overthrow the Boss. This may cause your character to become an NPC.
• Maintain Status Quo: You return to your bumbling, losing a level (you may be allowed to keep stat increases)

Mechanical Commentary

This class comes with a built in game-play loop: Discover Treasure, Beat PCs to Treasure through Tricks and Bumbling, Fail Hilariously in the Final Confrontation. Despite the apparent goal of villainy, the narrative role of this class is more like a guardian angel. It hides in the shadows, and prevents the ill effects of cursed treasure, and removes the treasure from the hands of the larger villains. It's also very survivable, with some pretty powerful tools.

The cons are that you will almost never keep any items or money, there is a lot of DM fiat, and (as mentioned before) you are a side character who is almost destined to lose. Could that be considered balanced? Probably not. Could this even be used in a standard fantasy game? Probably not. This is mostly just a collection of possible mechanics to remix as you'd like.